:)
So, I'm in Malaysia for this week. Landed here in KL yesterday morning and spent an insane highly sleep-deprived highly fun day (after the sleepless week just past). And today a few of us slipped and skidded in a tropical waterfall cum jungle. Feels good to escape the work routine, if only for this one week training (there's still some work to be done by the side, but much easier to be unreachable here :))
Long day tomorrow. Meanwhile, think up a wishlist that I can get you from here !! :)
Will be back with stories soon. This city is cool. Could have been more romantic though. If only.... ;)
...
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
It's just been one of those days where nothing went right. Except I got to sleep in an hour or so extra because my work was tied up to a client meeting in the afternoon.
Everything else, has pretty much gone the difficult way. Not horrible, yet, but difficult and painful.
And I just can't think straight right now, with a mountain of work in front of me. Work that I barely understand and deadlines that are likely to leave me dead, literally.
I still can't work.
Pardon the cribbing, but more and more these days, I get the feeling this life is not worth living. Despite the job, the city, the people, the love, the hate, the dreams, the pain - all highs and lows budgeted in - there's no point in existing. It's like an NPV negative investment, my life.
For once it's not the drama queen throwing out words. It's just something I can't explain anymore. Or have the guts to face.
Everything else, has pretty much gone the difficult way. Not horrible, yet, but difficult and painful.
And I just can't think straight right now, with a mountain of work in front of me. Work that I barely understand and deadlines that are likely to leave me dead, literally.
I still can't work.
Pardon the cribbing, but more and more these days, I get the feeling this life is not worth living. Despite the job, the city, the people, the love, the hate, the dreams, the pain - all highs and lows budgeted in - there's no point in existing. It's like an NPV negative investment, my life.
For once it's not the drama queen throwing out words. It's just something I can't explain anymore. Or have the guts to face.
Caught in a time-wrap
Monday, November 09, 2009
What is the deal with time? Either it does not move, or it flies.
Right now, the weekend that went feels like it was about two or three hours at most. And at the same time, last week and the last post feel a year ago.
Indeed, I was in Delhi little over 24 hours ago (for the weekend - campus recruitment work, etc ) and even that feels like at least last week. Damn it, I miss it (and all the people there) already!
Just what is the deal? Is it this city or this job? Or is it me? Am I aging 10x quick and on track to become old and wrinkly and fat and ugly?
Sigh...but on a lighter note, I have much better questions to ask. Like why are there so many rich people in (certain parts of) Mumbai. It's almost obscene, in the middle of the slums. And the kind of things these people buy. So you know, one day, I braved myself to try some shopping (really needed some clothes, otherwise, shopping is the boringest activity ever for me) and spent what felt like half a day (~45 mins) looking at stuff that I wonder who buys (esp at that price) and then another hour to pick up some stuff at fabindia/pantaloons that I could fit into. Seriously dislike shopping, esp alone (unlike my very girly and pinky boss (:P) who goes shopping...oooh..new stuff...wowwww types ) :D
This weekend, as I said, I was in cool, hazy delhi for work+fun. It didnt feel alone at all, though the public transport sucks in comparison to mumbai. I hate my company for making me shift here.
And making me shop alone.
Among other things.
Like missing living where the heart is.
Right now, the weekend that went feels like it was about two or three hours at most. And at the same time, last week and the last post feel a year ago.
Indeed, I was in Delhi little over 24 hours ago (for the weekend - campus recruitment work, etc ) and even that feels like at least last week. Damn it, I miss it (and all the people there) already!
Just what is the deal? Is it this city or this job? Or is it me? Am I aging 10x quick and on track to become old and wrinkly and fat and ugly?
Sigh...but on a lighter note, I have much better questions to ask. Like why are there so many rich people in (certain parts of) Mumbai. It's almost obscene, in the middle of the slums. And the kind of things these people buy. So you know, one day, I braved myself to try some shopping (really needed some clothes, otherwise, shopping is the boringest activity ever for me) and spent what felt like half a day (~45 mins) looking at stuff that I wonder who buys (esp at that price) and then another hour to pick up some stuff at fabindia/pantaloons that I could fit into. Seriously dislike shopping, esp alone (unlike my very girly and pinky boss (:P) who goes shopping...oooh..new stuff...wowwww types ) :D
This weekend, as I said, I was in cool, hazy delhi for work+fun. It didnt feel alone at all, though the public transport sucks in comparison to mumbai. I hate my company for making me shift here.
And making me shop alone.
Among other things.
Like missing living where the heart is.
Single in the city: The gutsy and the have-nots
Monday, November 02, 2009
As I frusta-o-ed yet another time sometime recently how suddenly everyone around seems to be getting married - it's especially freaky when your batchmates and even juniors start announcing wedding dates/ borth of their kids - my friend just said, they're not crazy, just lucky. They have figured out who they want to spend their lives with before everyone else.
I conceded the point. People who found the right people for them, and the courage to back their heart's instincts and take the "leap", they're worth being jealous of.
Maybe.
I conceded the point. People who found the right people for them, and the courage to back their heart's instincts and take the "leap", they're worth being jealous of.
Maybe.
Single in the City
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Yes, I'm back.
A million apologies are due for this prolonged absence from this page, rather, from blogosphere. You can blame this new job for the most part which did not leave much time, and more importantly, any energy to come up with something suitable enough to go up here. For other than the most part, I accept the blame. I'm just really lazy. Besides time not working is for sleeping. And surviving Mumbai. And discovering Mumbai.
Right?
Wrong. Surviving Mumbai is easier if I share it here. And hence I've decided, I'm going to be more regular on this page (yey!) even if it means boring you and you and you with crap. And for lack of creative insight, I'm going to call it the "Single in the City" series.
Once in a while though, regular stuff will keep pouring in and out.
Deal? Thumbs up? Let me know.
For now, for this one post, let me assume it's a better idea than nothing, and getting everything from requests to pleas to orders to threats about updating the blog! :)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Among the things that I really love about this city, is how nobody ever stares at you. Unless they're tourists from Delhi. You get the picture? You can walk down the street, alone in the middle of night, or hand in hand with your boyfriend, or in skimpy clothes at 1 am, or with a bunch of noisy friends and almost nobody will ever turn or stare back at you.
Maybe people just don't have the time - this city moves so fast, everyone is always in a hurry to get somewhere. Maybe nobody really cares - in a city of 2 crore people and way too many celebrities, you're well and truly a nobody. I don't know. But what I do know, is that this anonymity is fairly liberating. Somebody like me who's lived all her life in a city like Delhi which teaches you to be really conscious and really protective about your surroundings, life in Mumbai feels like a safe, blissful haze. It feels a lot less about you, if you know what I mean.
And hence, even in the mad rush, it gives you a few minutes of space to just step back and reflect, to ask a few questions, and to listen to the silence of the infinite sea and sky.
Spending too much time with yourself, too, is a hazard in a place where you're essentially alone and often lonely. My job tries to compensate with presenting me loads of crazy days where all I do is somehow wake up to get to office, only to come back home post-midnight and crash. And the past week stretched the midnight into early morning a bit too consistently, so it was essentially one long sleep-deprived stretch where the mind refuses to work. Which is good in the sense you're too busy to be bored, too sleepy to be lonely. And you don't have to push hard to find someone to go out and spend time with forcefully at least one day of the weekend, because it's legit to sleep.
But keeping busy is awesome, the breaks throw up interesting thoughts. And for someone like me who prefers skipping the office party to just lying down at the Marine drive for 45 minutes all alone, it's a refresher. And life does start feeling good again, when the woman selling roses on Marine Drive stops by and kindly offers, Chinta mat karo madam. Aapka friend aa jayega, which helps me break into an instant heartfelt laughter.
Yeah, I'd wait. What I'm waiting for, shall come.
:)
A million apologies are due for this prolonged absence from this page, rather, from blogosphere. You can blame this new job for the most part which did not leave much time, and more importantly, any energy to come up with something suitable enough to go up here. For other than the most part, I accept the blame. I'm just really lazy. Besides time not working is for sleeping. And surviving Mumbai. And discovering Mumbai.
Right?
Wrong. Surviving Mumbai is easier if I share it here. And hence I've decided, I'm going to be more regular on this page (yey!) even if it means boring you and you and you with crap. And for lack of creative insight, I'm going to call it the "Single in the City" series.
Once in a while though, regular stuff will keep pouring in and out.
Deal? Thumbs up? Let me know.
For now, for this one post, let me assume it's a better idea than nothing, and getting everything from requests to pleas to orders to threats about updating the blog! :)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Among the things that I really love about this city, is how nobody ever stares at you. Unless they're tourists from Delhi. You get the picture? You can walk down the street, alone in the middle of night, or hand in hand with your boyfriend, or in skimpy clothes at 1 am, or with a bunch of noisy friends and almost nobody will ever turn or stare back at you.
Maybe people just don't have the time - this city moves so fast, everyone is always in a hurry to get somewhere. Maybe nobody really cares - in a city of 2 crore people and way too many celebrities, you're well and truly a nobody. I don't know. But what I do know, is that this anonymity is fairly liberating. Somebody like me who's lived all her life in a city like Delhi which teaches you to be really conscious and really protective about your surroundings, life in Mumbai feels like a safe, blissful haze. It feels a lot less about you, if you know what I mean.
And hence, even in the mad rush, it gives you a few minutes of space to just step back and reflect, to ask a few questions, and to listen to the silence of the infinite sea and sky.
Spending too much time with yourself, too, is a hazard in a place where you're essentially alone and often lonely. My job tries to compensate with presenting me loads of crazy days where all I do is somehow wake up to get to office, only to come back home post-midnight and crash. And the past week stretched the midnight into early morning a bit too consistently, so it was essentially one long sleep-deprived stretch where the mind refuses to work. Which is good in the sense you're too busy to be bored, too sleepy to be lonely. And you don't have to push hard to find someone to go out and spend time with forcefully at least one day of the weekend, because it's legit to sleep.
But keeping busy is awesome, the breaks throw up interesting thoughts. And for someone like me who prefers skipping the office party to just lying down at the Marine drive for 45 minutes all alone, it's a refresher. And life does start feeling good again, when the woman selling roses on Marine Drive stops by and kindly offers, Chinta mat karo madam. Aapka friend aa jayega, which helps me break into an instant heartfelt laughter.
Yeah, I'd wait. What I'm waiting for, shall come.
:)
Occupational Hazards
Monday, October 12, 2009
Everywhere I go these days, a certain kind of questions naturally pop up in my head:
How does this business make money?
How to optimize this process to make it efficient/cut costs/increase reach?
Why is this guy doing this job this way?
How can he make more profit?
How big is this market/margin?
Everywhere, I tell you, from neighbourhood paan kiosk to the Big Bazar checkout queue.
I bet designers constantly analyse street fashion, teachers consistently look for cues to teach effectively and doctors see germs everywhere too.
Side effects of the job, phew! :(
How does this business make money?
How to optimize this process to make it efficient/cut costs/increase reach?
Why is this guy doing this job this way?
How can he make more profit?
How big is this market/margin?
Everywhere, I tell you, from neighbourhood paan kiosk to the Big Bazar checkout queue.
I bet designers constantly analyse street fashion, teachers consistently look for cues to teach effectively and doctors see germs everywhere too.
Side effects of the job, phew! :(
Single and available???
Thursday, October 08, 2009
My colleague at work was complaining yesterday, how all the nice guys (half-decent was her choice of adjective) in this world are taken and how we suddenly live in a terribly super-committed world. One could feel the agony in her words and see it in her eyes - "..and they don't ever break up either" - and now when I think about it, on one hand I still know a ton of people (esp guys) frustratingly single and ready to mingle, but that number (esp of the good ones) is definitely going down alarmingly. Have the times changed, or have we really become so old and settled in life? People I know are getting married for God sakes. Will I ever be able to find someone 'half-decent' to 'settle' with, *if* God forbid I ever want to, in another 2 or 3 years?
That is to say, should I start panicking about dying a maiden just yet? :P
On a related note, does anyone know any cute available guys in Mumbai? :P You are allowed to self-recommend, but self-introspect first.
On another note, I did a ton on household shopping yesterday, and fixed dinner and breakfast. I like the rhythm of things moving. :)
And does anyone know, why does every shop in Mumbai, including Dominos and Barista, have their shop boards in Hindi (and sometimes marathi, but that's logical) alongwith English? Curious.
24
stones fell, wanna add?
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Somwhere in the middle...
Monday, October 05, 2009
Here, in this world, things happen too quickly sometimes. And at other times, they feel as if the sameness has consumed all your life.
Here, in this world, I feel a little weird, trying hard to belong, yet the convoluted detached style of living of all the 'mature', warm and friendly grown-ups around me feels so unreal. What is missing?
Life is a roller-coaster, and should you forget that, it makes you a consultant.
I cribbed when they ruined my farewell three weeks back. Should I crib now, when I was just about getting the hang of this routine and I've been suddenly asked to leave the project mid-way onto something new, in 'hometown' Mumbai.
Bottomline, here I am, all alone at a swanky airport, cribbing about flight delays like those regular consultants, wondering just where is life going. Yes, this is it, that point where I need to go make my 'home' in an unknown city in a job that grows stranger by the day. Without any help, far away from those I love. Welcome, Mumbai.
It's just me. And my life. I can end up the happy all-conquering superwoman with a gazillion new friends, or I can end up the overworked fatigued depressive maniac.
Like most things though, I suspect, this too will lie somewhere in the middle.
The one in which I talk of being corporate, and housewifely
Monday, September 28, 2009
So, I'm a fortnight into the job. Wow. How hectic has it been is evident from the lack of posts on this page and a growing list of to-read stuff on the reader, among others.
Has it been exciting? Yes, I'd say, for the most part. It's a little confusing at times, a little lonely and slightly intimidating, but mostly there's a buzz, so far. It should stay for the first project, methinks.
Has it been tiring? Most definitely. My body revolts at 14-15 hour work days after so many months of lethargy.
What else does it feel like? Slightly weird, very grown up, and all the corporate frustration around me feels (so far) very unfamiliar. The people are good though, and things look sure to get warmer and faster in the next month. And the 35 km commute to Gurgaon is killing me.
Oh, and I got my first salary. :)
The lucky bit is that my first three weekends are all 3-day. Talk about spoiling habits! And so, last weekend I took a wonderful trip to Lansdowne (more on this should follow) with a bunch of friends, that ended up a nice roadtrip and jungle trekking combined. This weekend, I took a trip to my "home" in Mumbai. Had to finish some formalities, and wanted to know how it felt like living in 'my' home (at an outrageous 10k bucks per night :P ). Spent a lot of time setting up, cleaning, buying provisions, mopping, putting up the curtains, making the kitchen functional (cooking the ritualistic coffee and maggi etc) and generally being super housewifely. (My housemate is a little lazy at all this and struggling very hard at living all alone in a new city) Now the home is fairly habitable, though my housemate doesn't intend to cook, so it would have to wait for me to move in to make it totally home-like. There was nothing more to do in Mumbai though (everyone hits at my housemate, none at me :( :( :( ) except watch society Dandiya and meet Yashshri (finally, after several attempts over at least 2 years!) :P
So bottomline is that in the last two weeks I got a taste of the corporate and the housewifely shades of evil, uncomfortable grown-up life, and though it'd take more time to grow into it, and it's gonna be a bit before I have to be a superwoman and do all of it simultaneously, I will survive.
I think.
Anti-climax II
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Imagine a heavily melodramatic sentimental movie scene featuring a judaai among loved ones, or a farewell of some sort. Imagine, for the sake of the effects, a teary bidding-adieu moment at a railway station where one person is leaving for some xyz place for long, and in the final few moments before the train is about to leave, looks back at the place people and memories he/she is leaving behind. In fact, add flashbacks, loaded dialogues, background scores or even full-fledged sob-songs to the scene just so the flavor is complete.
So, the person finally breaks the embrace of his beloved people and place, who're perhaps secretly thankful they're gonna get a reprieve from this person but give nice sobby goodbyes anyway, and gets on the train. The train moves a few metres and suddenly comes to a stop. The station master tells you that because of "technical difficulties", the train cant leave right now, and there's a full 24 hour delay. So you have no choice but to go back, bag and baggage, to your home or whatever, and those people who just bid you goodbye and had already reallocated your room have to accomodate you again.
You understand the anti-climax, right?
Well, that just happened to me. :)
Okay, of course there wasn't so much drama and I still retain a room here at home, but you know, I was supposed to shift to Mumbai today and stuff, and everybody said goodbyes (I'd even done the packing!) and suddenly my company HR says, why don't you report in Gurgaon office on Monday instead of Mumbai office :)
Apparently, the project I've been staffed on, the team is in Delhi, so it made no sense to fly to Mumbai on sat and back on Sun because the mon morning meeting was in Delhi office and my ticket's cancelled. Now I don't have any other details at all, including whether this is a one-day, one-week or a one-month delay. I don't know anything yet, except that people who're happily calling me since last evening hoping to say bye, shoo, go to bombay, are being met with disappointment that the teary farewell has been postponed.
So, I'm gonna shift to Mumbai afterall (I'm so not unpacking!), but it could be later than sooner, and I have no clue when. Meanwhile I continue to pay a gigantic rent on a place in Mumbai I'm still not living in, and my poor flatmate has to grapple with setting up the house all alone. All this, when I'd always asked for a Delhi posting in the first place.
Life's suddenly exciting again. Fingers crossed for Monday. Wish me luck.
Phew, welcome to consulting, Taru.
So, the person finally breaks the embrace of his beloved people and place, who're perhaps secretly thankful they're gonna get a reprieve from this person but give nice sobby goodbyes anyway, and gets on the train. The train moves a few metres and suddenly comes to a stop. The station master tells you that because of "technical difficulties", the train cant leave right now, and there's a full 24 hour delay. So you have no choice but to go back, bag and baggage, to your home or whatever, and those people who just bid you goodbye and had already reallocated your room have to accomodate you again.
You understand the anti-climax, right?
Well, that just happened to me. :)
Okay, of course there wasn't so much drama and I still retain a room here at home, but you know, I was supposed to shift to Mumbai today and stuff, and everybody said goodbyes (I'd even done the packing!) and suddenly my company HR says, why don't you report in Gurgaon office on Monday instead of Mumbai office :)
Apparently, the project I've been staffed on, the team is in Delhi, so it made no sense to fly to Mumbai on sat and back on Sun because the mon morning meeting was in Delhi office and my ticket's cancelled. Now I don't have any other details at all, including whether this is a one-day, one-week or a one-month delay. I don't know anything yet, except that people who're happily calling me since last evening hoping to say bye, shoo, go to bombay, are being met with disappointment that the teary farewell has been postponed.
So, I'm gonna shift to Mumbai afterall (I'm so not unpacking!), but it could be later than sooner, and I have no clue when. Meanwhile I continue to pay a gigantic rent on a place in Mumbai I'm still not living in, and my poor flatmate has to grapple with setting up the house all alone. All this, when I'd always asked for a Delhi posting in the first place.
Life's suddenly exciting again. Fingers crossed for Monday. Wish me luck.
Phew, welcome to consulting, Taru.
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